And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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