in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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