Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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