Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
