2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
