You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
