I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
