I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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