drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
