Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
