Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
