Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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