He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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