at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
