I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
