considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
