I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
