Why are handjobs necessary in class?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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