I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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