the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
