sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
