I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
