WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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