Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
