they need to just BURY HIM!
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He better not be in your backpack
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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