we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
