She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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