i can't believe i had my finger in that
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
