Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
