he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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