garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
