how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
