Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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