We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
