Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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