Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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