Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He felt like a one man threesome
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
