My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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