; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
