I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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