Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
