I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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