Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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