stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
