You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Small penises have feelings too.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
i think my cat just said my name.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
