You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
