She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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