He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
