Well douche your snatch and let's go!
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Randomize
