can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
3 2 1 whiskey
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
