Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
