Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
nutella sex= disaster
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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