Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
